Q: How many alt.sex.stories readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Cindy fondled the burnt-out bulb whilst beads of sweat glistened on her perfectly rounded breast... Her brother Billy had gone to the hardware store to get a new lightbulb. Suddenly the door opened and there he stood,silhouetted against the sharp light from the doorway. She could see the bulge in his pants.. "They didn't have any lightbulbs but wait'll you get a load of my hardware", he said as he started unzipping his pants...

Q: How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One.

Q: How many CD player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stustustustustustustustustustuck

Q: How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three, one to screw in an Art Deco bulb and two to shriek "Fabulous!"
A: None, they get screwed in the ass instead.
A: Hey, don't let's talk about the lightbulb, honey, let's talk about
the shade !
A: Two. One to change it and one to grow a droopy moustache.

Q: How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Sixty-nine.
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
A: Two, one to do it and one to make a video documentary about it.
A: Two. One to screw it in real good and one to call the gynaecologist.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Only one, but you have to nag him for a fortnight first.
A: One, and one more to change it, and one more to keep track of how many there are, and a woman to soothe their minds and provide wax jobs.
A: None. Men don't screw-in lightbulbs; they think they can turn them on just by rubbing up against them.
A: Four. One to do the job and three to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
A: One -- men will screw anything.

Q: How many new men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to hold the baby.

Q: How many Essex Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw in Cortinas.

Q: How many Cosmopolitan readers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Two, one to change the light-bulb and one to have an orgasm with the old one.

Q: How many lexicographers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to protest that he should have changed it to "light bulb".

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only one.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.